MERB #40: Count Olaf Vs. Judge Doom
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…WINNIE THE POOH!
Winnie the Pooh:
It's a tale of two kids icons, from the 'hood to the Hund- (*Record scratch, screen goes dark*)
Lemony Snicket: I am sorry to inform you that this is not the epic rap battle you will be viewing; the battle you are about to see is extremely unpleasant: so much so, in fact, that Papa Mole himself has been rendered too upset and traumatized by its creation to be able to properly present it. Listen closely, and you just might even hear his tormented brooding right now…
Announcer: HELP, HELP; THIS MAN IS HOLDING ME PRISONER!
Lemony Snicket: …Thus, I, Lemony Snicket, am regretfully here to present to you the following display of vile, fien
Violent Frightening DisasterPrologue
If I had been left the choice between you, justice and the message hidden inside that fortune cookie, I would have chosen you.
There is no more justice, the message is lost, rats have eaten the cookie and you are gone forever.
Allow me to talk about the expression : ''You can't judge a book by its cover''.
The primary meaning of the said expression is of course that you can't rely on appearances to understand or explain something, or someone. I have had the misfortune to find myself into some situations where that sentence requires an altogether different interpretation, which can be summarized as follows : ''This is a hollow book. The sugar pot is hidden inside.''.
The following story will undoubtedly repulse any sane reader and thus, in order to preserve that precious sanity, will never be published. So, if you happen to read this, and in order to be fair, I have to apologize for the lack of cover as well as to describe the cover I would have selec
ViolentFrighteningDisaster - One (asouefanfiction)Violent Frightening Disaster
I - The importance of driving safely
London - Three years after the schism
As the waiter of Verini's Finest Diner, disguised as a taximan, was driving me through the crowded streets of the City, I was trying to focus on the newspaper. There was a vital need that I completed the crossword on the last page before we reached destination. The word vital here meaning : ''life-saving'' in the most literal way possible. There was also a vital need that my chauffeur reached our destination as soon as possible, thus sacrificing that other life-saving, though less vital need of driving safely.
Please try to imagine the situation. It could only be qualified as
''Perilous'', I wrote in the 5-across cells of the crossword, as an answer to the definition : ''Incredibly risky''.
The next definition was : ''If they forget how to do it, children have what they need at their fingertips.''.
The car brutally turned left as I was tr
Violent Frightening Disaster - TwoInterlude : Ventus Facis Damnum
A boat. The Atlantic Ocean. Seven years after the schism.
The water around me reminds me of the fire surrounding you, that night.
The ocean reminds me of the salty drops of water running on your cheeks made pure light by the flames licking your house.
Your tears remind me of my tears, that same night, when I realized that you wouldn't survive.
So many salty tears because of a sugar pot.
The marine wind in my hair reminds me of the wind feeding the fire in which you disappeared.
The false mustache on my lips reminds me of the lips I longed to kiss.
The eye on my ankle reminds me of your gaze.
And the steward just reminded me of the fact that I really need to leave the ship before they release the lions.
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